eligible bachelor?
by x-Pick'n'Mix-x
Summary: Holmes is a bachelor. what happens when all of a sudden women want him? and why have they suddenly decided to try and have Holmes. includes Irene and some other characters
1. Chapter 1

**Eligible bachelor?**

**Watson's POV**

Holmes was never interested in women, except of course Miss Adler, but women were certainly interested in him.

It was 10 in the morning and I decided to go and visit Holmes to see how he was doing. I arrived at his home and was invited in by a grinning Mrs Hudson.

"what are you so happy about?" I smiled

"well doctor, more women have been over trying to get Mr Holmes to go to theatre and what not with them" she smirked

"and…?"

"and he is quite annoyed because I just delivered him a letter from yet another woman"

"why are you smiling?"

"because, he is up there ranting and raving about how women are ridiculous with their feelings and wishes they would leave him alone, which means I don't have to talk to him for a while" she chirped

"I see" I chuckled

"I'll bring you up some tea" she smiled and scurried into the kitchen

I made my way up the stairs and was about to knock on the door when it flew open

"Watson this is insufferable" that's how he greeted me

He beckoned me in and started pacing in front of the fire place "why cant they just leave me alone? You have to help me Watson" he pleaded

"and what am I suppose to do?" I sighed as I sat down in my old chair

"oh I don't know, just help me"

"well I cant help you with this Holmes, I'm sorry" I was trying not to laugh because he was really over reacting. So he had a few admirers, its hardly the end of the world.

He slumped into his chair and pouted slightly. "Holmes, you look like a child"

"so what?" he sulked

"there really isn't anything I can do, I cant stop them liking you can I?" I sighed

"what is it they like about me? I'm hardly sociable, how do they even know what I look like?"

"because they have seen you with Lestrade I suppose" I replied

There was a knock at the front door and I saw Holmes dash to hide behind the sofa. "what are you doing Holmes?" I whispered

"shh Watson, that might be another woman" he responded

A few moments later there was a knock on the door "come in" I called

"hello doctor"

"Miss Adler?" I gasped

"Sherlock what _are_ you doing behind there?" she smiled in his direction

"I thought you were one of my… admirers" he sighed as he rose from his hiding place

"what do you mean?"

"he has had loads of women practically throwing themselves at him" I chuckled

"yes its most inconvenient, you know one young lady faked a case so that she could ask me out on a date?" he frowned

Me and Irene both started laughing "glad you find it funny, the man whose case I was late too didn't" at this we laughed harder

I ceased my laughter when I was whacked round the back of the head, I looked up to Holmes grinning "ow! What was that for?"

"laughing at me" he smirked

"she laughed too" I scowled, rubbing the back of my head

"well I can hardly hit a lady can I?" he stated as he walked over to Irene

"and what can I do for you?" he asked as he kissed her hand

"nothing, just thought I would stop by and…" before she could finish, Mrs Hudson came in carrying a tray of tea and a letter.

"here is your tea, and this just arrived for you Mr Holmes" she handed the letter to him and left.

He looked at the letter and tossed it onto the table "aren't you going to read it?" I asked

"no"

"well then I will" Irene leant over and plucked the letter from the desk "dear Sherlock Holmes, I am writing to ask if you would like to accompany me to the theatre tonight, if you can come please meet me outside the theatre at 8. Yours, Maria Richards"

"hmm…" he sighed

"well will you be going?" Irene asked as she put the letter back on the desk

"no. why would I?"

"well then maybe you would like to accompany me to dinner tonight"

I could feel a smile tugging at the corner of my mouth as I looked at Holmes' face, he knew he had no way of getting out of this one because she knew he had no plans.

"I would be delighted to" he tried to smile sincerely but failed and just looked awkward

"very good, shall we say 8, the Royale?"

"indeed" he sighed as he lit his pipe.


	2. Chapter 2

There was another knock at the front door and then a few moments later, a knock on our door "come in" I sighed

"Mr Holmes, this young lady is here to see you"

"show her in nanny" he frowned

Irene settled into a chair and smiled.

"good afternoon Miss…" Holmes smiled as he kissed her hand and gestured for her to tell her name.

"Christine Swan" she smiled sweetly at him

"and to what do I owe the pleasure?" he replied

"I have a case for you"

"I see…" he took a seat and gestured for her to also take a seat, which she did.

"my good friend has been murdered, the police think it was suicide and wont double check. I requested they leave the body alone until I had spoken to you"

"yes, right, well what are the facts?"

"well, her name is Elizabeth Jones and she was in her house after returning from dinner with me. The body was found by one of her maids in her bedroom, her throat was slit and the knife was in her right hand."

"I can see why they thought it was suicide" I interrupted

"yes but she wasn't right handed, she was left handed, why would she kill herself using her weakest hand? And she isn't unhappy, she is the most happy person I've ever met, always full of life. It just doesn't make sense for her to kill herself"

"hmm… intriguing" Holmes Pondered out loud "well, shall we go to the scene of the crime?"

"yes let's" she replied and we all stood up

"well I'll see you at 8 Sherlock, don't be late" Irene smiled and left.

Miss Swan looked a bit sad at hearing Irene say about them meeting later but my attention turned to Holmes when he asked "will you be accompanying us Watson?"

"absolutely" I smiled

Holmes grabbed his coat and hat and we left. When we got out onto the street Holmes hailed a cab. "where too?" asked the cab driver

Christine told him where we were going and we started off. The ride was extremely awkward, Christine kept on looking at Holmes and whenever he looked across she pretended she was looking out the window and blushed. I think he noticed this one time because he looked across at me and raised an eyebrow. I simply shrugged my shoulders, pretending I didn't know what was going on, although I did. Clearly she likes him.

We arrived at our destination in 20 minutes. I exited the cab, followed by Holmes who helped Miss Swan out. She smiled at him and he paid the driver.

She led us to the front door and knocked three times, after a few seconds the door was opened by Lestrade.

"Lestrade what are you doing here?" I asked

"waiting for you to arrive so that we can clean this mess up" he motioned for us to come in so we did.

When we went in Holmes got straight to the point "so where is she?"

"follow me" Lestrade ordered and led us upstairs.

We entered the room and there she was, led on the bed. Her sheets were stained with blood and her eyes were wide open.

Holmes strolled over and began scanning the area "Lestrade?"

"yes Holmes"

"were you aware that this young lady was left handed?"

"yes but…"

"but nothing Lestrade, this was clearly murder" Holmes interrupted

"how do you know that? She might of used the wrong hand so that it looked like murder" Lestrade chided

"she didn't" Holmes smirked "the knife was planted in her hand so that it looked like she killed herself, the murderer didn't know she was left handed and just assumed she was right handed"

"how do you know that?"

"because, if you look at her fingers, they are not grabbing hold of the knife, the knife is rested in her palm, if she had done it, it would be rested more on her fingers" Lestrade went to speak but Holmes carried on "also, there is a handprint indented into the sheet of the bed that is clearly too large for her hand, if you look closely at the window, the curtain is trapped in the window and the handle is not turned down. Which suggests that is how the murderer got in, when he left, he shut the window but obviously couldn't turn the handle and just left, not realising."

"well, I didn't think of that" Lestrade frowned

"I knew it! I knew she wouldn't kill herself" Christine shouted

"hang on a second…" Holmes interrupted "what is this?"

He bent down and picked up a button from a shirt "hmm…" he mumbled as he went over to the window. He started looking at the windowsill when he suddenly shouted "aha!"

"what?" I asked

"this soil, from the bottom of the murderers shoe, can only be found in one part of London"

"well where is it?" Lestrade asked

He wasn't met with an answer so I looked up at Holmes whose rear was pointed at us as he was crouched in the window

"what _are_ you doing now Holmes?" I sighed

"thinking" he replied

I could tell that Christine was fascinated by what he was doing, but she was also smiling to herself as she watched his rear moving around as he was balancing on the windowsill.

I was about to walk over and pull him in when suddenly he twisted round and was now on the other side of the glass, looking in at us, balancing very carefully on the outside ledge.

"Holmes get back in here, I don't want to clean up another body" Lestrade demanded

"don't worry Lestrade I know that's not what your worried about, you are thinking how will Scotland yard cope without Sherlock Holmes" he chuckled. Before Lestrade could reply he started again "Watson what is the time?"

I pulled out my pocket watch and replied "6.20"

"hmm…" he paused for a moment as he looked around. He shuffled back to the window and put one knee through.

We all thought he was coming back in but then he grabbed hold of the window and leant over the edge looking just below the window. "hmm… he didn't use a ladder there is no scrapes on the wall… how did he… ah there a pipe" he exclaimed

"Holmes don't even…"

Before I could finish he shuffled along the ledge and reached out for the pipe, he turned back to us and smiled then dropped.

We all rushed to the window and looked out to see Holmes sliding down the pipe. Before he reached the bottom he jumped backwards a bit so that he didn't land directly at the bottom of the pipe. We all watched as he knelt down and scanned the floor. Finally he stood up and took a few steps back so he could see us "well, I have all I need to know, I'll keep you informed. For now, I have a dinner to go to. Adieu" he grinned and turned on his heels

"Holmes wait" I shouted after him but it was too late he had run down the drive and disappeared.

"he is very eccentric isn't he?" Christine smiled as she stared down the drive my friend had recently ran down.

"barking mad if you ask me" Lestrade frowned and left the room.


	3. Chapter 3

**Holmes' POV**

When I returned to Baker Street it was 7. I went upstairs and attempted to find my best clothes, I could find my shirt, trousers and shoes but not my jacket or waistcoat "Mrs Hudson, where are my best jacket and waistcoat?"

"in the living room downstairs Mr Holmes" she replied

I retrieved them and put them on, I looked at the time and it was 7.30 so I hailed a cab and left for the Grand. I arrived at 7.55 and went into the foyer.

"may I help you sir?" the waiter asked

"yes, I'm here to meet Miss Irene Adler"

"right this way sir" I followed him and he led me to a table in the corner.

It was the perfect place to sit and watch people, I would of picked this table had I been staying here.

5 minutes later, Irene joined me. I rose from my chair and kissed her hand. Once we had both sat down I said "you look nice tonight"

"why thank you. You scrub up well Sherlock" she smiled

I was about to speak when I was interrupted by the waiter "sir that table of women over there" he gestured to a table of women who were all smiling "told me to give you these" he handed me a load of paper and upon reading them I noticed they were all addresses.

"right" I sighed as the waiter left, I looked across at the women who were all staring at me, grinning so I just smiled and turned back to Irene.

"sorry about that, I don't know why but lately women don't seem to be capable of leaving me alone"

"so I see" she smiled "but who could blame them?"

"sorry what?" I gasped

"nothing Sherlock" she grinned

I heard what she said but just couldn't believe it, she was never so obvious normally she would just flirt subtly but not this time.

"so what is the purpose of this meal?" I asked

"no purpose other than the fact that I enjoy your company" she smiled sweetly

"come now Irene, you expect me to believe that there is nothing else you want from me?"

"believe what you want Sherlock, but it's the truth" she looked up at me "so what will you be ordering?"

"steak and new potatoes. You?"

"I will have the salmon and new potatoes"

I called for a waiter and gave him our order, Irene also requested champagne.

"so any luck on that case?"

"yes, it isn't suicide, she was murdered, someone climbed through the window."

"it's a cruel world we live in, people aren't even safe in their own homes anymore" she smiled

"yes they are at risk of being _robbed_ and sometimes worse" I smirked

She just smiled and changed the subject "so how long have women been… well doing that?" she gestured to table of women who had given me their numbers, they were still looking over and giggling

"for about…" I paused to think "say 4 or 5 months"

"I see… so suddenly women everywhere became obsessed with you?"

"yes"

"do you think it could have been anything Watson has written in his stories?"

"why would you say that?" I asked as the waiter placed our food in front of us

"well, he did find it very amusing, not that I can blame him, but it seemed a different sort of amusement. Like as though he was hiding something. After we have finished dinner we will return to Baker Street and find out the newspaper from around the time this all started" she smiled as she began tucking into her food

"excellent idea" I smiled

About an hour later, after finishing our meals we were back at Baker Street searching through the pile of old newspapers.

"found it!" Irene called

I rushed to her side and plucked the paper from her hands and began reading it. I was fully aware that as I was reading it my face dropped.

"well? What does it say?" Irene asked impatiently

"it… it…"

Before I could finish she took the paper and began skim reading aloud from Watson's recap of the 'case of the missing ring' as Watson has named it

"Holmes had solved the case yet again… series of breath taking deductions… ah!... although Holmes acts like he has no interest it the opposite sex… apart from Miss Adler" she looked up at me and I tried not to blush. She grinned and continued "I feel that should the right woman come along he would be happy to hold a relationship… he is an eligible bachelor who just needs the right woman to help him on his path"

"I am so going to get him back for this! Really its unbelievable I thought we were friends!" I yelled

Just I finished shouting in came Watson

"Watson! What is the meaning of this?" I bellowed, snatching the paper from Irene and launching it at him.

He quickly realised what it was and replied "well Holmes… I figured it was about time you had a woman in your life. One that didn't trick you or wasn't your landlady I mean a wife or something"

Irene stepped in my way as I went to go flying over there "now Watson there was no need to go that far. You've caused him a lot of trouble"

"I never meant to, I didn't think so many women would read it"

"well they did! And now they are all over me! Any one would think I was a magnet or something!" I scowled at Watson

"dreadfully sorry old boy, truly I am"

I slumped into my chair and sighed "I know Watson. I know"

"you know, when you had your rear poking out the window earlier, Christine couldn't take her eyes off you" If looks could kill, he would surely be dead "too soon?"

"yes" Irene smiled


End file.
